today.

So, I have been meaning to write this blog for awhile now, because I have been thinking about this for quite some time. 

I wanted to just share one of the reason I am very grateful to New Life Church. There are many reasons why, but this one is something that has been prominently showing itself in my life.

 

Lately I have noticed that I have really been shown how to take care of people, or at least cover their needs so they feel comfortable and thought of and I know I learned this from NLC. I feel like I really get it ...(now), I get that making people feel connected, important, thought of, and cared for is one of the most important aspects of life, and to know that feels like I...(me) got let in on a huge secret. 

Now, what I am about to say I do not mean in any way to sound arrogant or stuffy. I also feel that even though I am not considered a "professional" by any means, and I most definitely am not the best at a million and one things, I feel like I do have a sense of producing a quality product which then in turn makes the people surrounding me feel comfortable and thought of and cared for. I feel like no matter what the task at hand may be, I know how to turn out a quality product at all costs. I have been shown the importance and the know how of meeting peoples needs. Because, well basically that is all that counts. 

We are only given so much, but it is what we do with this mixture of qualities and of things that produce a result and that result is in turn our impact on those around us and ultimately the world. 

Intentions do matter, little details matter just as much as the big ones, everyone deserves your time, and people are the most important thing in this life. 

I feel so thankful for learning this very basic truth, I hope now that I can try and implement this more into my life. I think that now since I realize this I can actually use it on purpose. Not just go with the flow because in this new place the flow is.... much different. It is so far from that which I knew and grew accustom to that I find myself feeling beat down just by the day to day of it. I realize now that it may be my small part, and it can be in the smallest way but it is a start. I remembered that a single flame can ignite a huge fire as well as a single flame can light up a dark room. 

There is a line in a song, and I may not get this all right but it goes something like ' this life is hell if we only live for ourselves' . I never thought of how true that is until today, which reminded me of New Life Church and what I am thankful for to them. It also reminded me of how important people are and how important the "small" things you do are, I mean at times you may not feel like it, and you may feel pointless. I know I feel that way all the time, but with just a littlest of effort you can make a world of difference, you just have to shift your focus and remember the truths of life. Once you do that nothing can stop you, no matter how big your dreams are if you remember that people matter and your time and effort are all you really have to offer than you start looking at life with a new pair of glass's. 

Words are not action, they are simply words, and just because I realized this doesn't make it a piece of cake from here on out.. 

but I want to try and remember this every morning I wake up and every night I go to sleep. 

I want to hold this truth close to my heart always. 

So thank you, to everyone who helped me get to this point. . . thanks. 

Oh, sweet sweet Today...

Have you ever felt like today is the day? You wake up early in a unexpected good mood and set your mind to have a great day. 

Well, wither you do that or not, that was my day. 

Except that it didn't turn out as expected, at all. With every hour, every class, every event of the day it went down hill. I tried to keep my attitude up and believe me, I let plenty of things go but all in all today September 23, 2008 the second day of Autumn was a very bad day. 

It's 10:34 now which means this day only holds an hour and a half left and I am pretty sure there is nothing left for the world to try and throw my way. 

It's only Tuesday and this week has already utterly and completely exhausted me- and my Mom will be here on Friday. 

Have you ever felt like you might as well crawl back in bed and just sleep until tomorrow? Again my day, but yet so many things to do and so many procrastinations to come up with. 

I try, sometimes I feel like I try so hard it hurts my insides. So many times I plan for perfect and watch my world crumble when I realize that my day as amounted to less than that. Waking up late, eating to much for breakfast, being completly bored in class, not feeling like that run, wanting marshmellows for dinner instead of salad, I give myself so many reasons to get upset. I set myself up. I set myself up to have a bad day. 

I try so hard to not place judgement on others, and to not expect too much from people

Why then do I hold myself to this ideal that, I miss everyday. 

It seems I have created my own superhero, who ALWAYS has perfect hair, makeup, outfits, never wakes up late- seems to accomplish half her day before 8, loves her class's, thinks running 3 miles is just as great as watching movies and eating popcorn. 

Did I mention my superhero looks at least 2 time's as good as any airbrushed model on a magazine, and is ALWAYS positive.

That is the thing with cartoons, they aren't real. They don't need to eat, they never change their clothes. There only worry is saving the unrealistic day where my reality is facing my days with optimism and acceptance for who I am in the moment, not kicking myself for yesterday and not living in the future. 

When I flip through the channels and stumble across Nickelodeon or Disney and say I find Spongebob Squarepants... I mean honestly I know that what I am about to watch is absolutely not real. I mean a talking sponge who wears pants? 

Come on. I know that these things are not real, but the world that the media is able to create makes an escape from my day to day life. 

The thing is it's not a real life they live from Spongebob to Lost, it's not real.

Sometimes I feel like in my desperate search for meaning I loss site of the beauty in the simple things and also in acceptance. The glitter and glam is so much more attractive, so to have it would make me just that. Wrong. 

Even on the days where I lose control, on the days I'd rather crawl in bed, even in my bad days I know that someone loves me in my dark and dirty moments. 

I don't have to pretend, or wish my life was oh so much more glamours.

I can hate my hair as much as I want. I can cut myself down as much as I please...

I am still loved. 

So I might as well shrug it off and keep on keep'n on, tomorrows another day, and tomorrow is filled with thoughts of you. 

I acknowledge today, I accept my mistakes, I want to move forward, Tomorrow is a NEW day. 

I am Loved, I have all I need to succeed.